Apples and Making out
by OMG.WTF.BBQ.DERP.O-o
Summary: Written for 'Favourite Character Boot Camp" Theo has been Draco's friend for almost a decade and he would do anything for him. But when Draco comes with relationship problems, how can Theo help without his feelings interfering?


**A/N: So this is my first slash story! And my first story with kissing in it...(I have never kissed anybody in my life so...)**

**Anyways this is part of the Favourite character boot camp (by Black Rose Blue) and the prompt is apples [if you haven't guessed], I would love if you told me what you think and enjoy.**

**I don't own HP.**

* * *

It was a regular afternoon in the Slytherin dorms. Well as regular as things were after the war, anyways.

Only 2 other Slytherin boys decided to finish their studies at Hogwarts; fortunately for me they were Zabini and Malfoy, unfortunately, they were Zabini and Malfoy.

You see, Zabini and I had never gotten along. Ever since our "little" tantrum on our first night at Hogwarts, we never buried the hatchet, much less became friends. It didn't help that I ridiculed Zabini during exam times or that he antagonized me due to my loner attitude, we were kind of like Malfoy and Potter to a certain extent...we never did try to kill each other.

However, as the years passed so did our animosity, unlike Potter and Malfoy's whose dislike for each other only grow greater. With the threat of war so close, we didn't have time for silly grudges and eventually called peace. But that did not mean we became best buddies, it just meant we **tried **not to go all Potter/Malfoy on each other.

As for Malfoy, well try having an ex-death eater friend who let serial insane killers into the school, attempted to assassinate the headmaster, and practically set the war forward that cost hundreds of lives. Yeah it's not easy AT ALL, especially when that said ex-death eater is just about suicidal. Do you know how many times I have dragged him away from the astronomy tower?

Anyways, it was a regular day. I was sitting alone on my bed reading a book about PTSD, waiting for dinner to start and ignoring my history of magic essay that was due soon. Most of the time I was alone in the dormitories, Malfoy often spent the afternoons alone in a dusty corridor, or with Pansy doing things I probably don't want to ever see if I want to keep my sanity. And Zabini? Well, I can't even begin to imagine what he does during his free time.

I was getting to a very intriguing theory, when the door burst open and banged loudly startling me so much I fell of my bed. I looked up to find a very pouty blond.

"What happened to the "Nott grace" you so often brag about?"

"The same thing that happened to the Malfoy reputation" I said without hesitating. As soon as I saw Malfoy's face I regretted it.

After the war, reality hit him hard; he found out what type of person he was and how everyone viewed him and his family, after that he was resolved to be better. He is only a slight improvement of the old Malfoy, but that's got to count for something.

"Nott" he said in a warning tone.

"Yes, it so inconsiderate of me to forget what happened" he threw me a very icy glare "So sunshine, what happened that gave you such a _magnificent_ expression on your face? What made you oh so _full_ of joy?" Malfoy hated sarcasm. No, that's not right, he hates when **others **use sarcasm on **him**.

He scowled at me and said nothing. I sighed; he wasn't going to say anything until I apologized for breaking his 'fragile' ego.

"Malfoy, I don't have all day. Will you tell me what brought you to me in such a state?" he stood there and I was afraid I was going to have to curse the information out, but he soon laid down on my bed beside me and put his hands over his face.

"Mmhphphh ppmhhp" Great, he's mumbling.

"Could you remove you hands from your face and repeat, please?" I said slightly irritated. I'm not a very patient person.

He did what I asked but when he spoke it was too low for me to understand.

" _Darling_" I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster " Can you do me a favour of speaking up, or would you rather have me cast a sonorous spell on you? Your choice"

"PansythinksI'mahorriblekisser" I swear if he keeps acting this way, I'm killing him.

"Slow down" I attempted to sound calm...I probably failed.

" Ugh! Pansy. Thinks. I'm. A. Horrible. KISSER!" That was it? That was the important matter that had him interrupt my reading time? Pansy's opinion on Malfoy's kissing? That's wh-wait, Malfoy a horrible kisser? I never thought he would be one. I always imagined him as a mind-blowing kisser, you know hot, steam-my face went red with embarrassment. _I just did not thing about kissing my very male friend again! ERASE THOUGHTS, ERASE THOUGHTS!_

"Nott, are you there?"

"Hu?"

"Theo, you went all red and horrified. What happened?" I was too shocked at myself to notice Malfoy's rare use of empathy.

"Never mind me. Why is Pansy's opinion so important? Better yet, why are you telling me?"

"Simple, Pansy's opinion is important because she is important to me, and I came to you because you are my only friend" I raised an eyebrow "Okay! The only friend who won't laugh at my face and will actually help me"

"What makes you think I won't laugh?"

"You haven't so far. Besides, at least I'm getting kissed, unlike you, who as far as my knowledge goes has only been kissed by Millicent"

"Touché" I said blushing once again. It was true; I had only kissed a girl on my life. It was during a game of truth or dare a couple of years ago, when Millicent was dared to kiss me.

"But how am I going to help you if, as you said it yourself, I been only kissed once?"

"You are a walking encyclopaedia. Surely, you must know something!"

"I hate it when you call me that"

"What would you rather have me call you? Insufferable Know-it-all? Male version of Granger?

"You just compare me to the "Smartest witch of her time", was that a compliment?" The day Draco Malfoy starts complimenting people it's the day people give slytherins a medal for their trustworthiness.

"Maybe, don't get used to it" And the universe has been set right again.

"Dully noted"

"So are you going to help me?" He said using his 'puppy' eyes, it kind of makes him look...cute.

"Fine! I'll help you. Go get an apple from the kitchens"

"An apple?" He was clearly confused.

"Yes, an apple. You know the spherical-like fruit that you so often eat between classes? One would think you would know its name by now"

"I know what an apple is, idiot!" he snapped.

"Idiot? Didn't you called me "_The male version of Granger" _a couple of minutes ago?" He glared and muttered something under his breath.

"Whatever. What I meant was why do we need an apple?" He said as he stood up.

"You'll see" I said smiling evilly. "Oh and better bring more than 1, something tells me Pansy is right."

He threw a pillow at my face.

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

20 minutes later Draco returned. He was carrying a sack of apples. Draco was carrying (if you can call it that) a very heavy sack of apples without magic. WITHOUT MAGIC!

"You are a wizard, you know?" he glared at me. Again.

"Yes, I do know I'm a wizard!" He snapped angrily.

"Then why don't you use magic, you know that useful thing we-"

"SHUT UP, NOTT!" Draco was mad. No, that was an understatement, he was pissed. Suddenly, I grew concern. Yes, Draco didn't have the best temper, but only 2 people could get him so angry.

"What happened, Draco?"

"Nothing happened. Here have your apples" he threw the sack at me.

"Ouch! Malfoy!" something was seriously wrong here.

"What?" he barked. His nostrils were flaring, his grey/silver eyes were filled with anger, and his jaw was clenched. That could only mean one thing; Weasley.

"What did Weasley do this time?" Draco's magic was getting slightly out of control; the lights in the room were turning on and off and the pages of my book were turning. Draco started pacing the length of our dormitory, which unfortunately didn't help calm his magic.

"Not Weasley. Weaselette" I gaped. Ginny Weasley made Draco Malfoy this mad?

"What exactly did she do?"

"What did she do? WHAT DID SHE DO!? I'll tell you what she did! She jinxed me for no good reason!" he was failing his arms now. I looked at Draco's face; an ugly purple bruise was on his left cheek.

"Draco, Calm down. Now sit here beside me and tell your 'therapist' what happened?" Draco calmed down slightly and sat beside me.

"Well, I went to the kitchens like you told me; I got the apples, and began to head back. I then realized I had left my wand here, so I decided to carry the apples without magic. While I was getting here, I found Potty and Weasel with their girlfriends Weaselette and Mu-"

"Draco" I said in a warning tone.

"Thanks. I found Potter and Weasley with their girlfriends, probably scheduling their double wedding, when Weasley notices me. He then starts asking me why I'm carrying the sack of apples..." Merlin, please tell me this story is getting somewhere soon.

"...I told her it was none of her business, and she then told me how a death-eater scum like me should be grateful for being able to return here. I-I" I could see how hurt Draco was. He was strong but everyone had their breaking point, and he was reaching his.

"I then began to walk away and try to ignore them, when she said "Aww, Malfoy can't take an insult. How pathetic" So I snapped. I turned around to set Weaselette in her place when her spell hits me!" I was going to have a 'talk' with Weasley; she wasn't getting away with this.

"Then what happened?" Draco was no longer mad, but he looked rather depressed. He was trying to change, but bad habits die hard.

He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed, I put my arm around him. "I then left without saying anything else and got here"

We sat in that position without saying anything for a while. I cleared my throat and moved away when I realized how this could look to someone observing us.

"So...apples" I said in attempt to break the silence.

"Theo, how are apples supposed to make me a better kisser?" his face and voice were full of doubt. He is so going to laugh when I tell him.

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, You CANNOT be serious!" Draco was literally rolling in the floor laughing his head off. I was expecting some laughter, sarcasm maybe, but this was just plain ridiculous.

"Yes, Diddikins, I'm serious" I said smirking. Draco promptly stopped laughing and scowled at me.

"Don't call me that"

"Aw! But Dracie-boo, if Pansy can call you that, why can't I?" I pouted slightly as Draco's scowl deepened.

"She is my _girlfriend_"

"But Drakie-bear, I'm you _best friend_!" I laughed at Draco's look of disgust.

"Nott you are crazy"

"I'm as sane as you are, if not saner"

"You just called me Drakie-bear. No one sane would call me that"

"Pansy is going to be so happy to find her boyfriend called her insane" he threw a pillow at my face once again.

"Pansy isn't insane...she just gets a little overly excited sometimes"

"Sometimes? The chick is crazy all the time!"

"Nott, that's my girlfriend you are insulting"

"Yeah a girlfriend you can barely stand. Remind me again why you are dating her?"

The mood of the room changed abruptly from joking to sombre. Draco slouched and frowned slightly; it has a heartbreaking sight to see someone so strong a full of pride break down in front of you.

"You know why. I'm the death eater scum that should be rotting in a cell for the rest of eternity, instead of being free. Everyone hates me except for a few people, but even they don't like me enough to be with me" By the time he stopped talking, Draco was sitting in fetal position with his head between his knees.

Hesitating, I stood from my bed and went over Draco's still form. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and he turned his head. I could see tears were making their way down Draco's face. I cleared my throat to try making this a little less awkward.

"Draco" I said softly "There's still a lot of people who care about you, your parents, Zabini, Millicent, Greg, Daphne, Tracy, urgh...even Pansy cares in her own crazy way"

"You're wrong"

"What?"

"Theo, Daphne is afraid of me, Tracy despises me, and Greg won't talk to me"

"D, Daphne isn't afraid of you; she's afraid of your father. Tracy hates everyone and Greg is mourning Vince's death"

"How can be so sure they truly care about me? For all I know they only want me for my money"

"Don't be ridiculous, Draco! We all have money plus if they wanted you for your money they would be doing a better job to try and get it. They are slytherins, are they not?" I said trying to lighten up the mood. It worked; Draco let out a small chuckle.

We sat in a comfortable silence and this time I didn't move away, I knew Draco needed someone to comfort him. This wasn't the first time we did this.

After a while Draco spoke again.

"Theo?"

"Yeah"

"Do you care about me?"

"I do. Why do you ask?"

"When you were listing the people who cared about me, you never mentioned your name" I looked at his face and saw that his watery eyes were full of hurt.

"Draco, we've been friends for almost a decade. I've always been by your side, even during six year when you tried to push everyone away. I didn't mention my name because I thought I didn't need to."

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next; Draco threw himself at me and hugged me! Shocked, I sat there frozen until the overwhelming awkwardness was too much for me to bear.

"Uhm, Draco, I think you should get off me now; I don't think Pansy would like this..."

Reluctantly, Draco let go of me and reclaimed his spot besides me once again. I could see a light blush grace his cheeks; that only made me feel even more confused.

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

"How long have I've been doing _this_, Nott?" Draco whined after making out with an apple for the umpteenth time.

"For about fifty-three minutes and 28 seconds" I replied stifling a snort.

"This is stupid! How am I supposed to know when to stop…you know…"

"Kissing apples?" I added in happily and laughed at Draco's scowl.

"Yes, kissing apples"

Honestly that had occurred to me about half an hour ago; I was going to point that out, but have you ever seen Draco eat apples? If you have then you know why I didn't stop him.

"When Pansy stops complaining about your kissing abilities, of course" I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ha-Ha Nott. I want to surprise Pansy next time I kiss her"

"Don't you think she'll be suspicious?"

"Of what?"

"You know, you getting better at kissing?"

"I'll tell her I read a book"

"For a slytherin you aren't very cunning"

"For a slytherin you are kind of brave"

"Brave?"

"Yeah, who else would insult my girlfriend, my family and me without second thought?" Huh, I never realized all the things I said and did to Draco that if anybody else did them, they'd be dead.

"Maybe it is because I'm the only one who knows your weaknesses, and have perfect blackmail material" I said smirking.

"Nott, I have more blackmail material than you" He said smugly as he stood. Deciding that I would not be intimidated, I stood up as well.

"Really?" I look into his deep grey eyes.

"Really" He said with confidence and stepped forward.

"Are you sure? Because I'm sure I have the most incriminating information" I said, stepping forward as well. My heart rate speed up and I my stomach felt a bit uneasy, but I wasn't going to back down.

"Like what?"

"Remember second year?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Yes" He answered narrowing his eyes.

"Valentine's day?" At first he seemed confused but then his eyes widened in horror.

"How. Did. You. Know?" Knowing the truth made me feel a bit depressed.

"Dark Lord. You put Dark Lord at the end"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you really think a girl like Weaslette, from a light family, would refer to You-Know-Who as the 'Dark Lord'? His face was slightly paler than normal, but he wasn't going to give up. Malfoys are unbelievably stubborn.

"How long have you known?"

"A while. But I really need to know this, why did you write it? And why in Merlin's name did you send it to him?"

"It was a bet. Nothing more than a bet" He said through clenched teeth. After he said this it made me feel slightly happier; I didn't know why.

"Well, I guess this tells us who has the m-"I began but was (rudely) interrupted by Draco.

"Nott, I must admit. That little jewel of knowledge was impressive, but I know worse things about you" he said smirking, almost smiling evilly. It was my turn to narrow my eyes.

"What do you mean, Malfoy?"

"Two words; Cedric Diggory" What did Cedric Diggory had to do with anything?

"What about him?"

"Nott, remember I was the person sleeping closer to you during fourth that year" It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"So?" I couldn't see where this was going.

"You talk while you sleep" I still was confused, he could clearly see that.

"From all the noise you were making, I assume you were having pretty good dreams" My jaw fell when realization finally dawned me. My face was burning, I couldn't believe he heard me all those times I dreamt about Cedric…he probably thinks I'm gay. I'M NOT.

"Close your mouth, you look like a fish out of the water" I closed my mouth, but soon blurted out...

"I'm not gay" Draco raised an eyebrow but said nothing

"I'm really not"

"Never said you were" I felt like an idiot, I was so embarrassed. I should have casted silencing charms as soon as Crabbe told me I spoke in my sleep during first year.

We stood there silently, me glaring at the Draco and he looking at me amused until...

"Whatever, what are we even trying to prove here?"

"I don't know, you started this."

"I did not!"

"Yep, it was all you."

"I may have started it but you continued it!"

"Whatever..." we stood there staring onto each others eyes. I was starting to get lost into his deep silver pools when...

"Seriously, Theo, When can I stop-"

"Kissing" he punched me as I said it.

"The apples"

"Like I said before, when Pansy stops complaining"

"I want to surprise her!"

"Unless you find someone willing to kiss and evaluate you, there is no other way" Thinking Draco wasn't stupid enough to pick this as an option, I turned to get another apple from the sack. There weren't a lot left, but we still had enough to last a while.

"That's it, Theo! I need to find someone willing to kiss me!" Draco never fails to surprise me.

"Wouldn't that be cheating?"

"No, as long as the person knows why I'm kissing them it won't be cheating"

"Great idea!" I said sarcastically "but only one problem, who would kiss you without a) bragging it to Pansy or b) tell Pansy to break you 2 up" Thinking that was the end of that plan, I turned back so I was facing Draco again.

"Ah!" I yelled as I saw Draco standing very close to me, invading my personal space. I would have fallen if he hadn't grabbed my waist. I wished I had fallen, my pulse was racing.

"Theo? Would you-"

"No!"

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!"

"I do know and the answer is no" Draco pouted. Curse that pout!

"But you said you were going to help!" Draco whined.

"I am not kissing you!"

"Theo, remember our conversation earlier" my blush only reddened. Blackmail, something a Slytherin always uses to get what he wants.

"So? We both have blackmail material?" Draco let out a growl of frustration.

"Why are you making this harder than it needs to be?"

"I AM NOT K-" I was silenced by a pair of lips. I stood there shocked until I was overwhelmed by the sensation. It was nothing like kissing Millicent, it was a thousand times better. Getting lost into the kiss I had forgotten I was kissing my best friend...

...

...

...

"AHH!" I screamed pushing Draco away from me. I WAS KISSING MY BEST FRIEND! Even if it did feel good, it was still wrong; he had a girlfriend!

"What did you do that for?" Draco said glaring at me. I couldn't help but splutter.

"What did I-What did I do that? WHAT I DID THAT FOR?! YOU FUCKING KISSED ME!"

"You kissed back"

"I was too caught up in the moment to realize how wrong that was!" For a moment I thought I saw a hurt expression flicker through Draco's face, however I ignored it.

"That means I'm a good kisser" He said smiling. I was about to say something sarcastic, but I couldn't do it, so instead...

"Yeah, you are a good kisser" I said, now smiling as well.

We both look at each other with small smiles in our faces.

"So...you enjoyed it?"

"Don't push it" I said still smiling, that only made Draco laugh.

"So what do we do with the apples? Since I don't need them anymore" I was thoughtful for a second before smiling evilly.

"I think we should pay a visit to Weaselette. Don't you think?" Draco's brows furrowed as he tried to understand. I glanced at the apples and Draco followed my gaze; we then let out something that sounded kind of like an evil laugh.

"Yes, I think we should. I think we should"

* * *

**Wow, this was way longer than I expected O_o...**

**Yeah, this totally wasn't meant to be like this; it was supposed to be happy ending...Not bittersweet! But alas, I can't write happy stories (you can go check my fiction press account for proof). Hopefully you enjoyed it, nonetheless. **


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